Top Ten Star Trek Captains (Besides Kirk and Picard)

Top Ten Star Trek captains (besides Kirk and Picard)

Who’s the greatest captain ever in Star Trek?

Trekkies can argue for hours, and thanks to the internet, months, about who’s the best captain in the history of Trek? In the end the debate always comes down to a genitalia measuring contest between Kirk and Picard. Compelling arguments can be made for either. Kirk was first! Picard is more centered! But doing so ignores plenty of other Starfleet captains worthy of discussion, but always eclipsed by Kirk’s ego and blinded by Picard’s shiny head. So who would be best if you took those two 900 pound gorillas out of the captain’s chair and opened up the playing field?

What makes a good starship captain? Are they quick on the trigger? Diplomatic with alien species? Do they uphold the Prime Directive as gospel? Or do they tend to break it from time to time? Have they overcome insurmountable odds? Or simply bedded the most alien species? Do they command the coolest ship?

Read on to find out.

Morgan_Bateson

10. Morgan Bateson – USS Bozeman –  “TNG: Cause and Effect”

Poor captain Bateson. One day he’s off exploring the Typhon Expanse and the next he’s blindly slamming his ship, the Bozeman, into the USS Enterprise-D causing the catastrophic destruction of both. Turns out the USS Bozeman had set a course into a temporal causality loop while exploring the Expanse where it was flung 90 years into the future and straight into the Enterprise. The explosion of both ships caused a further tear in space time where the fatal collision was doomed to wash, rinse, and repeat, for 17 days. Not many captains can come back from death but captain Bateson did well into the teens and would have gone on living an interstellar groundhogs day if it wasn’t for that meddling crew of the Enterprise and their android Data too. Turns out the crew of the Enterprise suffered from bouts of deja-vu and thanks to some positronic coding within Data’s brain they were able to send clues to their future selves about the impending collision. You know what they say, the 17th time is the charm, and eventually the message gets through to Data in time to dodge captain Bateson for not looking both ways before crossing the street and break the loop. Initially convinced he had left on his mission only three weeks ago, Picard invites the time displaced captain to beam over for a small stardate reality check. You would think most capatains in Bateson’s position would retire and  live off their healthy retirement pension or go teach history at the Academy but not Captain Bateson. He’s still sitting in the chair of the Bozeman years later in Star Trek Generations. No starship captain has ever served longer than him.

On top of that he bares a striking resemblance to the somewhat famous 20th century actor Kelsey Grammer, so that’s a plus.

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  • Jamin

    Mostly good, but where’s Spock?

    • Spock was only a temporary Captain whenever Kirk got captured or imprisoned. Did he ever have a permanent command?

  • Maxwell P Coltrain

    Janeway? Hello? Sexist much?

  • Keith Robey

    Janeway? Spock? Scott? Why didn’t they make the list?

  • Speedbird_9

    For those who remember Generations: Anyone wonder, “HOW THE HELL DID THIS GUY GET TO BE CAPTAIN OF THE ENTERPRISE?” Was he an Admiral’s kid? Sorry for shouting.

    • Good point, lol. I thought the same thing. That ship was full of kids. The better to contrast against Kirk and company I suppose.

      • Speedbird_9

        The ship being full of kids, I didn’t mind. A different performance from Alan Ruck (or direction from David Carson) where whatever Kirk asked for not being ready or available “until Tuesday” made it clear he was ready to command the Enterprise but his ship was not ready and he knew it, then he’d have been worth of being on this list, not being bumped by Janeway.

  • Speedbird_9

    Drop out Archer, put Janeway in the second position (if you must keep Archer, drop Harriman).